Caffeine stunts your growth!
by zephyrdjinn
Summary: As a joke Matsumoto tells Hitsugaya that caffeine will stunt his growth. As a result he gives up his beloved green tea, causing him to become even more grumpy and irritable than before.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or the characters used in this Fanfiction**

Rangiku Matsumoto wouldn't call herself mean-spirited, she wasn't even normally a prankster, but the way everyone had been acting lately she wanted to lighten the mood. At the next Shinigami Women's Association meeting she brought up the idea of pulling a simple harmless joke on her captain.

"We can tell him that caffeine stunts your growth."

Not many other members of the Shinigami Women's Association thought it was a funny idea. "But Matsumoto, he probably wouldn't believe us." Nanao advised. Matsumoto decided to go through with the plan anyways.

"Taichou, did you know that caffeine stunts your growth?" Matsumoto asked

"Oh really?" Hitsugaya said nonchalantly dismissing the idea. "Well...now that you're here get started on your paperwork."

"Okay, do you want me to get you anything first. Anymore tea maybe?" Matsumoto said trying to hide her malicious grin

Captain Hitsugaya looked at his tea cup. It was empty. He kind of wanted more tea but... "I'm fine. Just go do your paperwork, it's due today at 5"

The next day Hitsugaya decided to go look up if caffeine really stunts your growth. He found some sources about it at the library. The sources were a little out dated, but it seemed like Matsumoto might not be pulling his leg after all. _How many years…no decades have I been drinking green tea?!. _He contemplated anxiously. On his way back to the division he spotted Rukia and Renji chatting. Rukia and Renji probably the two Shinigami that knew the world of the living the best. Apparently Renji even tried coffee before.

"Hitsugaya Taichou" They bowed as he approached them

"Abarai, Kuchiki, have either of you ever heard that caffeine stunts your growth?" Hitsugaya inquired

"Well, yes but that's just an—"Renji began

Rukia cut him off, "Of course I have! Did you know it's absolutely against the law to have caffeine until your 20th birthday in the real world. If you start having caffeine too early you might not ever grow again"

"You know caffeine is also in chocolate and soda." Renji whispered

"However, an exception is made for chocolate and soda. " Rukia said

_Why is it that I never heard of this before. Now I might be doomed to be short because of all the caffeine I had in my past… _"Thank you, Abarai, Kuchiki" Hitsugaya said before continuing back to his division

After Hitsugaya left, Renji asked "What the heck was that about?"

"Haven't you heard? In order to liven up the Soul Society The Shinigami Women's Association is playing a prank on Captain Hitsugaya." Rukia answered

"I don't get it still." Renji looked confused.

"Idiot. We're telling Captain Hitsugaya that caffeine stunts your growth." Rukia stated

"Won't that just make him more irritable and grumpy when he stops drinking caffeine?" Renji still looked confused.

"…I don't think Matsumoto thought that far ahead."

After not having caffeine for a couple of days Hitsugaya felt irritable and had a roaring migraine. _I feel like I need a nap. _Hitsugaya looked at the clock. _Darn_ _9:00am is too early for a nap._

Hitsugaya was even more grouchy and grumpy than usual. There was a lot more yelling in the 10th division barracks, and everyone felt like they had twice as much work to do as before. All of this caused Matsumoto to avoid being in the office more than usual, which made Hitsugaya even more annoyed.

Matsumoto decided that she had to put a stop to this and get the Captain back to hurried to the kitchen to boil some water and make tea for her captain, but when she brought the piping hot tea to Hitsugaya he refused to drink it.

"No thank you, I don't drink tea anymore" He politely refused.

"Is it because your afraid it will stunt your growth?" Matsumoto asked

"..."

"Taichou, you know that caffeine doesn't really stunt your growth. It's just an old wives tale." Matsumoto laughed "Besides even if it was true, you've been drinking tea so long it probably already stunted your growth."

"...MATSUMOTO!"


End file.
